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Why Your Lack of Self-Love is the Nr. 1 Barrier Between Yourself and Your Dream Career

Self-love is the elixir of life. 

It’s what makes you happy, fulfilled and successful. 

It’s what opens hearts and minds and empowers you to change your world. 

And yet it’s still the most undervalued and underused practice of all. 

You work on your self-confidence. You focus on your skills, talents and gifts but you forget to build up what is the most important part of all: your self-love. 

It’s no wonder then that you, along with millions of people, go about your daily work despising every minute of it. 

If you don’t love and respect yourself, how can you ever value your time and your life’s work? How can you make a drastic change if you are not at peace with who you are and what you’re all about? How will you ever convince others of your worth if you don’t care for it yourself?

The answer: You can’t. You’ll be able to fake it, yes. But only for a while. 

However, if you truly and unabashedly love yourself, you’ll tap into your true, amazing potential with ease. 

Here’s why. 

1. You’ll Take Care of Yourself

It’s obvious that when you appreciate yourself for the person you are, you’ll take good care of your body, mind and soul. You’ll give your body the movement it yearns for. You’ll eat a balanced diet and you’ll create the margin in your life you need. You’ll have more energy, balance and peace of mind, which is more than needed when you’re about to change your life. 

How you can start: Put together a simple routine of daily exercise. It’s important that you choose a workout you and your body enjoys and not something you absolutely dread. You won’t go back if you don’t love it. And don’t tell me, there’s nothing that you’d ever enjoy about moving your body. There is, you just have to be willing to find it. 

If you feel adventurous, throw in a daily meditation session and you’ll declutter your mind and your soul. Just find a quiet, sacred space and focus on your breathing for a few minutes. Let your thoughts fly by without holding on to them. Be patient and always kind to yourself. 

2. You’ll Know and Understand Yourself

Being aware of who you are is crucial when you want to change careers. By practicing self-love, you’ll discover your innermost thoughts, your feelings and your true longings. You’ll learn about desires you never knew you had and uncover strengths you’ve long forgotten about. Without this understanding, you won't find your true purpose in life. 

How you can start: Getting to know yourself is done best by journaling daily. Let your thoughts flow freely and without judgement and you’ll soon get a clear understanding of who is really underneath your skin. 

3. You'll shine with Confidence

When you love yourself, you exude a level of self-confidence that is unmatched by those who don’t feel particularly comfortable in their skin. You’ll be glowing from the inside out and believe me, people will notice.

How you can start: Become aware of your posture when you’re standing our sitting. Do your shoulders hang low? Are you looking on the floor? If so, roll your shoulders back, sit or stand up straight and hold your head high. This’ll give you an instant self-confidence boost. 

4. You'll Push Through Any Obstacle

When you’re at peace with yourself, you’ll handle major and minor setbacks in a completely different way. You’ll know that those circumstances have nothing to do with your worthiness as a person or your abilities as an expert. You’ll be more open to seeing these hiccups as learning experiences and opportunities for you to grow. This’ll make a major difference in your life and career as you’ll search for different ways to achieve what it is you want instead of beating yourself up and sinking into a spiral of self-pity and hate. 

How you can start: Become aware of all the successes you’ve had in life and celebrate them. Those can be smaller ones like leaning to ride a bike or bigger ones like graduating with honors or making a marriage work for years. This knowledge will give you the power you need to push through obstacles without giving up. 

5. You’ll Believe in Yourself

It’s hard to get the job of your dreams or create the business your heart yearn’s for if you don’t 100% believe in yourself. Well, today is your lucky day because self-love comes with a huge truck load of belief in yourself and your potential. You’ll be amazed at how clear your mind gets once you get rid of all the wrong beliefs that have impacted and limited your life. 

How you can start: Write down all the beliefs you have about yourself, money, life and your career. Dig deep and don’t let one single belief stay untouched. Then compare those beliefs to reality and see if they hold any truth in them. Chances are, most of them are wrong. They’re perceptions of what you saw and experienced growing up. However, life is different now and so are you. When you’re ready, slowly let go of those beliefs and replace them with powerful, positive and self-affirming ones. 

It takes time to fully tap into self-love, but once you’re there, your life will never be the same again. 

I want to hear from you. Do you love yourself just yet or do you still have some work to do? What are your thoughts on this topic? 

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Group Leader
Comment by Jen McDonough "The Iron Jen" on September 24, 2012 at 12:28am

This is so true. We are so preoccupied with other things that we tend to forget ourselves and tend to forget to appreciate what we've accomplished in our lives. It's time to love ourselves more and taking good care of it as well.

Live Beyond Awesome
Jen McDonough
Twitter: @TheIronJen

Comment by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt on September 17, 2012 at 7:47am

Why, thank you, Ann. That means a lot. 

Comment by Ann Musico on September 17, 2012 at 6:55am

Your post definitely goes a long way in helping to do just that.

Comment by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt on September 17, 2012 at 6:23am

Thank you both for your kind words. It is a big issue for a lot of people and it's definitely been a big one for me. But, as Dan said, we can work through these issues and in time, they won't seem so overwhelming anymore. 

Comment by Ann Musico on September 17, 2012 at 5:24am

This is a beautiful and insightful post, Sophie.  I find this to be the core to most of the issues of clients I work with. I always ask if what they say and do to themselves, they would say or do to someone they love - spouse, child, friend?  The answer is always no - but for whatever reason we feel it is wrong to love ourselves even though Jesus clearly tells us to love God with all our heart, mind and being and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. 

For many of us there are many false ideas and beliefs to deal with (and I include myself in this).  I believe this is an ongoing process and one that should be a priority.  I especially love #5 - that is HUGE and your step is practical and doable.  Limiting beliefs can be very sneaky - but doing what you suggest is a powerful way to uncover and eradicate them!  Great post!

Group Leader
Comment by Dan Miller on September 16, 2012 at 11:57am
Wow I love the clarity and specific steps you've laid out here. I had to work through a lot of limiting beliefs to get to where I could release the best I have to offer. And now the obstacles seem so much smaller. Thanks for the encouraging reminder.

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