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I haven't been highly involved in 48 days in the last year, but I intend to get to know the community better and to seek out some knowledge and support, while sharing whatever I am able with others. This past year has been a bit of a rollercoaster, and I can feel things heating up again. I've been struggling lately with my current status and have had a lot of questions that I have not yet found answers for. I am very excited about the ministry that God has directed me into and I am continually seeing his hand in the production of this ministry. Why is it then that I still question my direction? I feel that I completely trust God, but I do not trust myself to do as he directs. I want so much for this ministry to take off, but feel that right now I just need to wait. I am juggling so many balls right now, I would so much like to drop one, but I am fearful to do so, and do not know whether this is what God would have me do, or whether this would be a wise decision? Waiting for God's direction.

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Comment by Rachael VT on February 10, 2011 at 11:28am
Thank you so much Lillie. You are exactly right, it is amazing how art can help people to heal, which is why I got into the field that I did. I have seen this outlet help quite a few of the children that I work with and I keep reminding myself of what I can do while I'm here at this job. The hardest part is when the strains of my job don't allow me to do the quality of work that I would like to do. It is those moments that I can see art working and kids healing that help me to get through.
Comment by Lillie Zable on February 9, 2011 at 8:42pm

Rachael, it sounds like you and God have a wonderful direction planned for your life. The gift that God has given you with art is very special. My 8 year old granddaughter is struggling with her reading skills but she is EXTREMELY talented in art, and I see the healing effect that her art has in her life. As a Social Worker you are able to see first hand the need for healing, God may have placed you in this job so you could use your gift to alleviate a little of the suffering that you witness. Thank you for sharing your heart.

Comment by Rachael VT on February 7, 2011 at 6:49pm

Thanks for your encouraging words Kevin. I've never thought of it that way "everyone else has a plan for your life." 

Here's the story. I have a degree in art therapy, and have a job as an overworked social worker. (the biggest ball of them all as it is the one that pays the bills and the school debt) I am working on, and have almost completed a program proposal for an art therapy program in the same agency I work in. Although our CEO asked me to write it up, I am worried about economic status and fear that it won't be seen as affordable. I know that this one will just be hanging until I turn it in and get an answer. Then there is my art ministry. This is my greatest passion, and I know that God has been guiding me and pushing me to get this working. I am interviewing various people in the church, creating an art-piece to tell their story, and will then be presenting them all in an art show to our community, helping them to see the true personalities of the church, rather than a perceived facade (in a nut shell). Although this has been going very well so far, my full time job which is incredibly stressful, makes it difficult to keep this running as smoothly and as timely as I would like. Plus it kills me to have to push aside my passion every day.

I tell myself daily to wait and be patient, and it will all come together in God's time. The artshow is in October, and I am wondering if things will start really moving then. But then I read Luke 12:22, and I think about needing to trust in God to provide, especially when I know he is working through me in the ministry. 

Responsibly, it seems as though I need to wait. I will have to deal with the stress that I have through my job right now until things have a chance to get rolling. Right now is preparation.

It's funny, when I think back, I realize how much I prayed for God to help me to get the job that I have now. I can't help but wonder if he gave me this to answer my prayers, but knew he

Comment by Kevin Gainey on February 7, 2011 at 3:11pm

I think all of us have asked questions like this at one point Rachel.  Personally, I spent the better part of the past 5 years asking some of those some ones.  

 

What are these other balls you're juggling?  Are they commitments between you and God or between you and other people?  Like Kent Julian says "God loves you and everyone else has a plan for your life".  Don't be afraid to let go of something.  Ask yourself "What's the worst that could happen if I stop X of Y?" Then ask if the worst that could happen is really all that bad compared to being in limbo.  Ending something in a responsible manner can be a very spiritual thing.

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