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My husband has been gone to China on business for 2 ½ weeks. I was looking so forward to having him home tomorrow when I saw the email. “New plan, I have to stay another week…” My heart sunk and the pity party started to take up residence. I was angry at the situation that was causing him to be delayed and I just wanted someone to blame or at least commiserate with me.

Lord, are you trying to teach me something here? I get it. I appreciate all he does for me and with our family. Maybe I have taken him for granted too often and nagged at him too much for things that matter too little. You’re right, I am listening. Can we be done already? I’m tired. We just moved to a new place out in the country a week before he had to leave and I’m creeped out because everything is different. It doesn’t even feel like home yet. Then there are the logistical issues with working full time and making different arrangements for getting my daughter and I where we need to be every morning, afternoon and evening for school, work and other activities.

As I was lamenting the fact that we’d have to wait another week before we could start to get back to “normal”, a friend and co-worker stopped by my office. We talked about the frustration of similar experiences. Then he asked if he could pray with me before we got back to work. My heart turned as I listened to him ask for support and favor for my husband. In all my “me-isms” I had not thought to do that. My husband was the one far from his home and family, dealing with a work crisis. Sure it’s tough trying to juggle all the balls at home without him, but at least I get to go home at night. Yes, I really can be that self-absorbed.

Thank You, Lord, for this reminder and for friends You send along at just the right moment with a message to soften my hard heart … again. You are so gracious when I am so stubborn.

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Comment by Dan Shafer on December 6, 2011 at 7:50pm

If I may, don't be so hard on yourself. It sounds like you have been under quite a bit of stress with moving, jobs, and various family commitments. It is okay to be angry. So many times we tell ourselves to ignore our true feelings and "just be happy" or "smile and it will all be better". Your mind and body are telling you to be angry, so do it. Take a moment and just be angry. Let your emotions out. Stop trying to filter everything.

Now...breathe. After you rant and rave for a little bit think about all those things you mentioned earlier. You have a loving husband who is eager to return home. You have a new house to settle in to. You have a supportive family who is right there with you. And you have incredible co-workers who truly care about you. In just a few days, you will have everything you want. Enjoy the wait and anticipation. You can do it. 

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