"Patrick--I am enjoying the story. Here are a few notes for your consideration:
"...she walked home with her best friend Sarah Read" - When I first read this, I initially thought that Molly walked to her own home with Sarah…"
Patrick Grady's Groups
Patrick Grady's Discussions
Help! My Mental Illness Is Affecting My Mental Health!
Started this discussion. Last reply by Michael Shemwell Nov 7, 2010. 1 Reply 0 Likes
Does anyone here suffer from bipolar disorder? Does anyone also suffer from overprotective family always on the watch for that footstep on the manic tripwire? As a sufferer of the disorder, I am…Continue
Patrick Grady's Page
Latest Activity
Henry Matlock replied to Patrick Grady's discussion Chapter 2 - Would you or your teen still keep reading in the group Write It Forward - REAL Success & Profit for Writers!
Patrick Grady added a discussion to the group Write It Forward - REAL Success & Profit for Writers!
Chapter 2 - Would you or your teen still keep reading
This chapter employs Lawrence Block's advice to tell second things first and first things second. For those of you who read and commmented on Chapter I, here's the next. Love to hear what anyone thinks... Chapter II Saturday was always a special day for Catherine Kinnane and her daughter Molly. Catherine owned an Irish café and worked late every weeknight. On school days Catherine always walked Molly right to the doors of her school, which both mortified and gratified Molly, but afterward…See More
Patrick Grady replied to Patrick Grady's discussion Chapter I - and the question is, Would You Read More? in the group Write It Forward - REAL Success & Profit for Writers!"Thanks Diane!
I see just what you mean.
I rearranged the beginning just a bit and I think I've got POV handled. I'll review the sentence length in draft 2, I think; it's enough of a challenge just to keep moving…"
Deborah Eaton replied to Patrick Grady's discussion Chapter I - and the question is, Would You Read More? in the group Write It Forward - REAL Success & Profit for Writers!"Yes, I would think a teen would keep turning the pages. Good start.
I do agree with the points about POV that Diane mentioned.
Looking forward to seeing more.
You should try NaNoWriMo next year : D"
Diane Krause replied to Patrick Grady's discussion Chapter I - and the question is, Would You Read More? in the group Write It Forward - REAL Success & Profit for Writers!"Hi Patrick,
You're definitely establishing a hook right away, and creating the tension, which is great! Here are a couple of things that came to mind for me:
Perhaps you could re-work the interaction with the woman and Molly. By introducing…"
Patrick Grady replied to Patrick Grady's discussion Chapter I - and the question is, Would You Read More? in the group Write It Forward - REAL Success & Profit for Writers!"Thanks Sutton!
I have more that I intend to post in the near future. Right now the plot is a little barren and needs fleshing out. That's what I'm working on just now but I have a couple more chapters sort of ready."
Patrick Grady replied to Patrick Grady's discussion Chapter I - and the question is, Would You Read More? in the group Write It Forward - REAL Success & Profit for Writers!"Thanks Kathryn!
I did make that change and I like it - it works quite nicely, but it will make some small changes necessary in some other stuff I have completed. That's writing, though.
I hope to post some of those other chapters before…"
Patrick Grady replied to Patrick Grady's discussion Chapter I - and the question is, Would You Read More? in the group Write It Forward - REAL Success & Profit for Writers!"Thanks, Henry!
I have a couple more chapters written that I will post in the future. I hope they continue to satisfy!"
Sutton Parks replied to Patrick Grady's discussion Chapter I - and the question is, Would You Read More? in the group Write It Forward - REAL Success & Profit for Writers!"Yes, I would turn the page. I want to know more. Great hook!"
Sheila Elaine Moss replied to Patrick Grady's discussion Any writers of educational curricula or lesson plans out there? in the group Write It Forward - REAL Success & Profit for Writers!"Patrick,
What you're asking is what we teachers do all the time--plan lessons. Some of us also write curriculum. If you're interested, check out my Writing Research Papers with Confidence, published by Broadman and Holman for the…"
Henry Matlock replied to Patrick Grady's discussion Chapter I - and the question is, Would You Read More? in the group Write It Forward - REAL Success & Profit for Writers!"Patrick,
Yes, I would definitely turn the page. To me, the story has a Fringe-meets-Grimm kinda feel to it. Being a Fringe fan (but not of Grimm), I hope you take that as a complement. Good work!
All the best,
Henry"
Patrick Grady added a discussion to the group Write It Forward - REAL Success & Profit for Writers!Chapter I - and the question is, Would You Read More?
The following is the first chapter of a YA novel I'm working on. Besides the writing, I'm spending a lot of productive time outlining and plotting, which is also important, but doesn't produce pages. Anyway, please take a read, and answer please one simple question: Would I (or my teenager) keep turning pages? Any commentary or constructive criticism also welcome. Thanks! Chapter I“Honey, are you okay?”The elderly woman leaned across the aisle, a look of unease on her face. The young…See More
Patrick Grady replied to Michael Scott hart's discussion I am not a writer, I am writing a book, can a get some brutal feedback on this book?"Michael,
I have read through your manuscript a couple times, and I tried to provide some brutal feedback. Each time I tried, it came out mean-spirited and discouraging, which was never my intent. So, I think brutal feedback is not what…"
Patrick Grady replied to Michael Scott hart's discussion I am not a writer, I am writing a book, can a get some brutal feedback on this book?"In my opinion, the best stories are defined not by their heroic protagonists, but by the horrific antagonists they must overcome. Consider James Bond vs. Blofeld or Batman vs. the Joker.
The first & most important thing a good…"
Patrick Grady joined Jonathan Milligan's group
Blogging Your Passion
What are you passionate about? Is it possible for you to make a living and help others in an area that you are passionate about? Absolutely! You need the know-how and the desire. Let me show you how.See More
Michael Shemwell replied to Patrick Grady's discussion Help! My Mental Illness Is Affecting My Mental Health!"I have ADHD, which comes with impulsive execution of big dreams that usually fizzles out into nothing. I also have lots of anxiety issues, some OCD tendencies, facial tics that resemble very mild Tourette's, and I definitely fit the bill for…"
Profile Information
- How did you hear about 48Days.NET, and what do you hope to get out of being a part of this community?
- Dave Ramsey
- What is your current work situation? Employee, self-employed, generating any income on your own?
- Employee - 1 full time day job that is not my calling, plus 1 part time job delivering pizza to push the Debt Snowball.
- And then...what is your goal/dream for your work life?
- I've been coordinating FPU for 4 years. Every now and then I get a chance to sit down with students and dig into their finances and help them develop plans to get back on track. Whenever I finish, I float back to my car, filled with joy.
Whenever I talk about personal finance, I feel like I'm going to explode with passion! I can write, I can speak in front of crowds as long as I'm well prepared, and I have felt for all my adult life that I missed my calling to be a teacher!
I know I can monetize this. there are dozens of possible markets and vehicles. The only thing I can't do is find the time.
- How about your personal life? Any specific goals or achievements or dreams you are pursuing (or want to pursue)?
- I would love to get out of corporate America. I work for a Fortune 500 company, and I feel anonymous and stifled.
The big anchor that keeps me there is the fact that I have a 14 year old son with spina bifida, a crippling birth defect, and I am a diabetic. The need for health insurance is enormous, and I cannot right now see a way to go in the direction God is calling me without putting my health and the health of my son in jeopardy.
- What would you say are your strongest talents? How are you 'wired' and what can you offer to the world (it's OK if you don't know yet, but knowing is key to pursuing your dreams!)?
- I have computer programming and analysis skills, but that's not my calling.
I love solving problems and teaching people how to solve their own.
I can write - I've adapted a novel to a screenplay (for practice) and written a novel and short stories. I find myself drawn toward essays and sermons nowadays, when the mood comes upon me.
I will find a reason to stand up in front of almost any open microphone. I'm not afraid to embarrass myself in front of others.
Patrick Grady's Blog
Limitations
Posted on January 16, 2010 at 4:25pm 0 Comments 0 Likes
We all have limits. I love sports, but was never gifted with pro-level talent. I’m never going to be an artist or a NASCAR champion.
Who says so?
I do.
It’s interesting how many of our personal limitations are self-imposed. Richard Bach wrote simply, “Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.”
There are only a few limitations that cannot be overcome – gravity, mortality. And well, thanks to the Wright brothers, Dr. Robert Goddard,… Continue
Who says so?
I do.
It’s interesting how many of our personal limitations are self-imposed. Richard Bach wrote simply, “Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.”
There are only a few limitations that cannot be overcome – gravity, mortality. And well, thanks to the Wright brothers, Dr. Robert Goddard,… Continue
Comment Wall (9 comments)
- At 4:44am on August 25, 2010,
Joel Boggess said… - Hi Patrick ,
Thank you for adding me as your friend.
What have been some of your favorite finds here on the site?
The next issue of our newsletter will be out in a few days. 4 Points Coaching is a weekly. May we begin sending it your way?
-joel
author of - One Woman's Journey to the Work She Loves
- At 10:11am on October 27, 2009,
Chuck Bowen said… - Hey Patrick, I'm so glad you're with us in 'Growing Coaches'! Do you have a particular pressing need for joining our tribe? Hope you'll be on my 'Eat, Sleep, Coach ... For Profit" call Thursday evening!
- At 8:19am on October 13, 2009,
Kent Julian said… - Hey Patrick,
Thanks so much for joining both Speak It Forward and Write It Forward. Be sure to jump in on all the great discussions taking place. We value your input and insight.
Live It Forward,
Kent Julian
www.liveitforward.com
PS Also, check out the free e-resource I offer entitled Goal-Setting That Actually Works! ($47 Value) to those who join the REAL Success E-Zine community (also free) at www.liveitforward.com. I think you'll really get a ton out of both these resources.
- At 3:49pm on October 12, 2009,
Joseph Flahiff said… - Hi Patrick
Welcome to 48days.net. I think you will like it here. It is a great place to get and give support and encouragement in finding your place in the world of work as play.
Let me know if you have any questions about the group, I have been here a while. If you are interested in starting a business (not get rich quick but really doing it right) I encourage you to join the Baby Steps to Business Group
Peace
Joseph Flahiff
Sign up for a 14 day e-Course on starting your own business.
***work...play...same thing***
- At 1:14pm on October 12, 2009, Joel Boggess said…
- Hi Patrick,
Thank you for joining the winner's circle. Let me invite you to participate in one of the discussions, or to start one of your own in the discussion forum.
There is some good back-and-forth going on among our members.
It sounds like you have a few challenges to get to your calling. Challenges are what make the fight worth fighting. Let me encourage you to move forward.
I strongly believe that if God allows you to see something in your mind, it can be made real in the natural.
Say, the next issue of our newsletter will be out in a few days. 4 Points Coaching is a bi-monthly. May we start sending it your way?
- At 10:13am on October 12, 2009,
Rob Clinton said… - Hey Patrick Welcome!!! Just wanted to drop in and welcome you to this great community! As you’ll come to find, this is a place of inspiration, encouragement and tons of knowledge. I hope you find that and more as you pursue your endeavors.
Come out check out one of the newest 48 Days group "180 Career Coaching". We just begun a special online retreat of transitional discussions that you don't want to miss!
Click Below to Join:
180 Career Coaching Group
Here’s to success and many blessings. I know you'll find lots of help and advice here, and if there’s ever anything I can do for you let me know.
~Rob Clinton
180 Career Coaching
The Transition Portal Begins at 30,000 Feet! This is your guide for re-entering the workplace!
www.180coach.com
- At 7:46am on October 12, 2009, Kent Julian said…
- Patrick,
Just noticed you joined 48Days.net -- WELCOME! So glad you became a member. Sounds like you are a communicator and interested in speaking and writing. If so, consider joining the Speak It Forward group and Write It Forward group (links below). There are some great discussions going on that will likely be very profitable for you.
* Speak It Forward -- REAL Success and Profit for Speakers!
* Write It Forward -- REAL Success and Profit for Writers!
Again, glad to have you here at 48Days.Net.
Live it forward,
Kent Julian
www.liveitforward.com
Free Special Report: Goal-Setting that Actually Works ($47 Value!)
- At 2:44pm on October 9, 2009,
Dan Miller said… - Patrick -- Welcome to 48Days.net. You're joining lots of other Dave Ramsey listeners here. Dave and I have been friends for over 20 years now.
You’ll find this to be a warm, encouraging and innovative group. If you’re looking for additional ideas – just stick around. This group is full of great ideas and strategies to make them come to life. It sounds like you're making some progress. Just browse around here and you'll see some pretty creative ways people are generating income -- and wiping out old debt.
Thanks for being part of the 48 Days family. We’re glad you joined us! -- Dan Miller – 48 Days
- At 2:00pm on October 9, 2009, Joel Boggess said…
- Hi Patrick,
Welcome to the community. You'll find this to be a pretty good place to make new friends and exchange ideas.
There are plenty of ways to get involved depending on what your interests are.
Stop by and join us in the winner's circle.
Our primary goal is to help our friends find calling and purpose in their work, and in their lives.
Search
Have a question or want to connect? Enter in some keywords here to see what we're already saying!
Weekly Podcast
Good stuff from 48days
© 2013 Created by Jon Dale.
