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Someone once posted here something to the extent of, "I make a good worker but a bad employee." That resonates with me. I work hard but feel like I'm trying to fit the corporate mold that God didn't create me to fit.
I am a pianist with about 2 weekly hours at the piano. I sell insurance full-time to keep us afloat. My life is severely imbalanced since we homeschool two young children and I daily commute 90-120 minutes round trip. For many reasons, it's made sense to continue with this knowing my passions lie just out of reach. My husband is working on a mid-life career change and was weeks to months away from transitioning into a new role with significantly higher income. At that point, I'd have gone part-time or quit the J-O-B to focus on musical pursuits. We are very frugal and can trim very little from the budget.
I was fired two days ago for something seemingly minor. I acknowledge my responsibility but am still legitimately angry. This was the first job I have ever truly felt God called me to (outside of being a pianist). I loved everything about the position and this company when first hired 2+ years ago. Eventually, other changes lead to many frustrations, but I still enjoy what I do.
I'm trying to remain positive and learn what I can from this, however this is not my first termination. (Following back-to-back pregnancies, I had severe post-partum depression and was unable to perform my job duties 4 years ago.) While we're not ready for me to strictly focus on my piano studio, I feel it's wise to continue selling insurance since I can easily jump back into a good income.
I will revisit Dan's advice in the 48 Days book and read over my notes from my coaching with Kent Julian. Do I take a week to gather my thoughts before networking and entering the workplace so I avoid burning bridges if I'm bitter? My networking efforts have allowed me to maintain great relationships with several good contacts over the years when I am ready to pursue new work. Is it ok to take what lessons I can learn yet still tell myself it's acceptable to not fit the mold of corporate America? Does this mean I'm incapable of learning, adapting to others' rules (sheep mentality?), and not questioning established procedures? I crave continued personal development but feel I can only change myself so much to blend into a corporation. I'm asking for feedback from others on what is a healthy response and game plan for the immediate future. My brain is driving me crazy as I reflect, yet again, on my new vacation.
Heidi, I hear from clients like you frequently. They are either let go or choose to leave the corporate world and are starting a new path. First, I want to tell you that I think it is wise for you to look for ways to continue to make income until you feel a better sense of direction.
By no means do I think you are incapable of learning or adapting to rules, but keep in mind, working for someone else is not always what everyone is cut out to do. You may want to try working as a contractor if possible for some agencies. While I know that is not always possible, more companies are permitting workers to work under that umbrella than ever before.
That being said, you can work as much or little as you like and set your own schedule while most likely just adhering to a few bits of protocal about how the company wants you to conduct business in their name. This may give you the flexibility you need to determine if you ever want to return as an employee for any company.
There is less security as a contractor but more flexibility. In the long run, you most likely need to determine what you REALLY want to be doing in order to make the income you need and then determine if you can do that in your own business or if you do need to return to a more structured setting.
So, for right now, I would suggest you realize you are in good company and the best game plan is to work to discover what work is really meaningful to you, appeals to you overall and could provide you with the income you need/want. Take some time to really ask yourself those questions and then you may feel better about developing your game plan/
I'd be happy to provide you a complimentary consultation if you think you'd like to discuss this more. Feel free to schedule at calendly.com/kathy-4
Heidi - I would second the advice from Kathy. I would also say that this is an excellent time to think about what is most important and where you would like you and your family to be in 5 years. Make sure you know where your path is headed!