13 hour days and Burnout

Hello All,

I'm wondering if anyone can offer some advice based on my situation.

I'm currently working in a great job doing what I (mostly) love within my community. It's gotten to a point where I'm working 13+ hour days and sometimes 7 days a week on Salary! The family life is affected and I feel like I'm missing out on my kids growth.

Everyday I would wake up at 4:30a with the intention to get started on work related tasks so that I can actually get out of work at 5:30pm. At this point I was thinking, it's way better than coming home at 7pm and still having to work.

More recently, I'm finding myself waking up at 4:30a but not working on those daily tasks because I have a voice in my head that's asking, "why should I work 13 hours when I'm only getting paid for 8?" "work doesn't start till 8, why are you working for free?" Instead, I work on my sustainable business idea for a few hours then I go to work.

I used to have something on the side which brought me a pretty good return. It slowly fizzled out because I'm so inundated in the "8-5" paycheck that's keeping this boat afloat (for now).

I know a lot of this shouldn't be considered normal and I got myself deep into something that I'm needing to find a solution for really soon. I know I cannot continue this routine, and am not only dreading Mondays but also the work i actually love to do.

Normally you would assume that the time I spend on my business is part of the solution. But reality hits and says, because you didn't start working at 4:30a you now must be confined to your computer and work on the tasks that you put off earlier in the day. Thus, still working the 13 hour day, adding more stress, working on slimmer timelines and not being able to spend time with my family. Errr...I feel like there's not enough hours in a day. Have I gone crazy??

Any feedback or advice would be helpful.

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Permalink Reply by Rob Orr on November 8, 2011 at 7:59am

Hi Louis - I feel your pain and I was there. When I was at UPS that was the norm and it was killing me. I've been out of there and on my own for a year now and it's been really good. I still put in a LOT of hours but it's actually not as bad for some reason.

I don't feel like I have impending doom hanging over me any more and I'm not trying to live up to the company's absolutely ridiculous expectation. The final straw for me was when we started having 6 am conference calls. I had had enough. Just because the other people in management choose to neglect their families (and end up in divorce as the majority do) didn't mean I had to do the same thing. Personally, I set boundaries regarding what expectations were reasonable and what were not. I still ended up leaving and haven't missed it even for a minute (though the steady paycheck was nice!).

The only thing that I could recommend is that you try to do something similar. Set some boundaries and stick to them. If it doesn't work out for you and your job to do that then it may be time to start looking elsewhere for other solutions.

I would also recommend reading "Getting Things Done" by David Allen. Make sure that you're prioritizing your work appropriately and that you're utilizing resources available to you wisely.

Make sure that you schedule time for yourself, your family and your dreams. This is what ultimately did me in at UPS - I was not willing to be married to the company like so many others. I already had a wife I liked and wasn't really in to the whole polygamist thing :) But I was no longer willing to compromise my early mornings, evenings, and weekends for them.

Make sure that you are spending time planning on what will sustain you or how you will handle a transition should you leave too. If you had a side-gig that was working well, make sure that you're investing the appropriate amount of time in to it so that it can be an option should you decide to start looking for other solutions.

I know what it's like and I hated it too. Best of luck - it will get better.

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Permalink Reply by Luis Anthony on November 8, 2011 at 8:28am

Hi Robb,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Yeah I'm happily married as well and I wish for it to not be with my job. I wouldn't mind this kind of work as much if I had control over my revenue ceiling. Instead of making my business sustainable I made someone else sustainable. Quite disturbingly funny when I think about it that way.

Thanks for making the recommendation of David Allens book. Very good read and is chalk full of methods which I put into practice and glad I did. But, again, there's only so much one can do within 8 hours.

Yeah I'm stuck on a transition plan I guess.

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Permalink Reply by Rob Orr on November 10, 2011 at 5:47am

I think that the expectation in corporate America these days is that 8 hours a day is nowhere near enough and they make sure to fill your days with enough activities and tasks to take up a couple days! It's always about getting more for less which ultimately squeezes the life out of you. And you're so right about the fact you're working to make someone else's business sustainable. Brian Tracy talks about being your own personal services company as an employee, but that's just a nicer way of saying that you're building someone else's business. If you're a salaried employee the expectation is 12 hours a day - at least in my experience - and I just wasn't willing to do that at the expense of my family and life.

Best of luck to you as you figure this out.

BTW - just realized I misspelled your name previously - my apologies. Don't know how I missed that, I'm usually better about stuff like that.

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Permalink Reply by Jen McDonough "The Iron Jen" on November 10, 2011 at 9:07am

Hi Luis,

It is hard when you have kids sometimes isn't it?

I liked Rob's advice on boundaries. There is always someone or something that will steal your time and money if you allow them to in life. Having those boundaries and living your time intentionally helps.

For me, I can do pretty much anything for short period of intense focus. As long as I KNOW there is a light to the end of the tunnel, bring it on! We too have kids and it is challenging, but knowing that there is an end to certain things certainly helps. If you don't see an end, life can chew you up and spit you out!

Something that I have learned to is that we are all replaceable in the work place. I use to LOVE my last job. Many times I would put their needs before my family’s needs. When my job was eliminated last year, it was a painful lesson to learn that yes they could go along without me (they limped a bit, but it still hurt). With this new position, I was able to put in firm boundaries from the start and refuse to cross those boundaries. My hours are less, the hours are better, the pay is better, and I am just as respected and appreciated here as I was at. My family life is much healthier and I feel I can budget my time and passions better by having those boundaries in place. It has made us look at other aspects of our life as well. For example, we pulled our kids out of hockey this year (they started when they were 3). It was very hard to do, however, now we can allocate that time to church, etc.

Lastly, make sure your "joy" bucket in life is kept refreshed. If you are giving, giving, giving you will be no use. Keep it fresh and make sure you are getting in time that refuels your energy. Great series on our church I have included Eagle Brook Church Series - I Have Had It if you get a chance to download to listen to while in the car, etc.

Hi Luis,

It is hard when you have kids sometimes isn't it?

Good luck Luis.

Blessings

Jen